That New Baby Ache

Friday, November 30, 2012

Sweetie has shifted and is no longer a baby. The last vestiges were shed sometime over the spring and today, after he insisted that he walk when we went to the supermarket and then proceeded to enthusiastically greet and farewell every person we passed, I had to admit to myself that he is a toddler. A truly beautiful and delightful toddler it must be said but, nevertheless his babyhood has been boxed up and added to the memories shelf. I'm a little wistful about that and I am hankering to do it all again. Baby photos of all my little duyvkens have been popping up on our digital photo frame and making me ache. It is a genuinely physical response to seeing them as they were when they were freshly in the world. Little packages of possibility who are now in the process of becoming the people they will be. I like that a lot but I miss the baby days. There's something very special about that newborn family cocoon.
Should we do it again? Will we do it again? I don't know but we're both very, very tempted in spite of age and commonsense. I do know that this You Tube clip I was sent during the week isn't helping. Is there anything better than this sweet sleepy drift?


Mary :

Oh my word - that Leo - oh so very sweet.

And you know what I think.


Lynn :

I think you should if it is what you long to do. The only babies I ever felt comfortable around were the ones I could hand back to their parents after a brief bit of cuddling! With my boys it was a huge relief when they became fully verbal, and I enjoy them so much at 7.5 and 14.5 that I don't yearn for the old days at all -- I just wish that the current days wouldn't pass so quickly.

As for the old-age thing, I was nearly 35 and nearly 42 when my lads were born, and I enjoyed uncomplicated pregnancies, straightforward home births, and years of hearty breastfeeding. Tired? Yep, sure, but what infant's mother isn't!

I'll be thinking of you as you continue to ponder... xo

Cass :

I'm with Lynn I much preferred my kids after they turned 2, babies just don't do it for me unless they are someone else's! I too was older when I had both of mine 36 when I had Charlotte and almost 40. No problems at all in pregnancy either

The Coffee Lady :

I'm with Lynn - I love the characters of my children as they grow, though I do want to slow them down. Shared jokes with Eldest that Littlest is too young to understand are quite a joy.

Thinking back, the last time I did want another baby was when Littlest was very young, and growing out of the baby stage. But then she grew out of it, and somehow I did too, and the 'I wonder...?' got softer and softer until it wasn't there at all.

Michelle :

Well, I was "there" in internet spirit for baby 1 and we always said there would be a bus full in your future. :) Go for it!

blackbird :


I'm in love all over again.
The best part is that he's so happy.

Julie :

Oh, I too felt so strongly the tug of the newborn. I've never before had a toddler without also having a baby, or a baby in the offing, but with my youngest now three I am no longer part of that 'baby' world. Funny how quickly it seems like a (much loved) foreign country. The magic of the newborn still draws me in, but it no longer has to be MY newborn.

Suse :

Oh yes I know the newborn tug only oo well too. For me, it was only age that finally eased its passing. I'd still love another newborn in my arms if I wasn't past my use by date.

Jen :

Go for it. I worried that I would never feel done and couldn't trust my baby lust to ever go away, but when I was done I truly felt done. When you're done you'll know.

Eleanor :

I keep coming back to this post, just to keep you company, whatever happens. E x

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